Poverty

WHY am I thirty years old and the only frying pan I own is a crumbly, post non-stick, two burger sized, warped piece of shit that a friend bought for me five years ago in return for a babysitting favor? Why am I living in an apartment that has a piece of tape stuck to the wall under the window in the living room just above the baseboard? And WHY, when my cat unknowingly pealed OFF that piece of tape, is there a gap in the wall with yellow, folded up newspaper stuck in it? Am I living in a house that is insulated with NEWSPAPER? Might I not just throw in the towel now and admit that I warm myself with newspaper!?!?!?!?!? Yes. I am the cliche. Not to reduce the graveness of those who truly live in poverty: let's just say that I am one of the lucky ones who has a dwelling place.....Even though it sucks in every way (except in the size of the porch that is gradually falling away as I type).

All that aside, and back to my meager dilemmas, WHY do I only have one dull, steak-sized knife that I have had for almost nine years now, that I cut everything I have ever cooked or eaten? And why am I right now, sprinkling salt out of a box instead of a salt shaker? WHAT the hell happened to my SHAKER?!? And that's just the kitchen. We're not even gonna VENTURE into the problems and deficiencies that are looming in my clothes closet. And we're definitely not going to dwell on the holey state of my sneakers. The point is, I feel broke in the monetary sense. Yes, it can only get better from here, but it still sucks.

So........What am I thankful for? The ying and the yang. I'm thankful that I have a family I am close to, whose just as flat-ass broke as me: it gives us something to talk about (Amber, that includes you!) And I'm thankful that I have a daughter that, overall, is just awesome in her artistic state of mind, which includes abstract thought, behavior, and multiple space-out attacks. I am thankful that I finally found THE man for me whom I had known forever and is just awesome in his extremist state of mind which includes jumping off of high rocks into shallow water, and all that kind of overboard stuff. And I am thankful that I have three great friends: Friend number one, is of course Annmarie, whom I've known almost my whole life, and I say that proudly. to say more about Annmarie requires a WHOLE separate blog. Friend number two is Nicole, my almost decade old friend who makes me laugh because she has a truckload of kids. And last, but never least, because she would kick my ass if she was, is Annette, my "African American" friend (no stereotypical labels here!) What can I say about Annette? We love to drink weird things and play scrabble together, and she's one of the coolest chicks I've ever met. Wow. That sounded like an Oscar speech.

So I'm poverty stricken but loving it because I have all my favorite people around me to share in the complaining, bitching, and contemplating of every single frustration in my life. And they DEFINITELY share it, whether it is willingly or not. If I had a whole set of stainless steel frying pans, a shiny array of ginsu knives, a closet full of clothes AND insulation, what would I POSSIBLY have to talk about?
(Our happy ghetto...on the right)