P.S.

Chronicmargarita: The "chronic" in margarita does not refer to the marijuanna plant! Margarita is STRICLTY anti-drug!!!!
I am just chronically me.

Ode to Jenna

My sister Jenna inspires me. It's 2:30 in the a.m. and I can't sleep. I just got done reading her blog and as always, it made me laugh. It is so brutally honest in the most witty sort of way!

I have four brothers, all of whom I love very much for their own individual talents and personal traits, but I remember the feeling of excitement I had when I found out I had a sister. I had all these dreams about playing with her and hanging out with her and doing girl things and having sister moments. And then I got married and then pregnant, and then our dad and her mom split up and things didn't turn out as brady bunch as I had hoped. Do they ever? Maybe that's why they call 'em "pipe dreams".... 'cause ya gotta be high to think anything ever comes out as planned. Anyway, things got a little hairy between the parents: o.k. ALOT hairy. And soon years went by and everyone got older and before I knew it, my sister was a young lady who turned out to be a very cool chick! I still don't see her often and I have guilt about that. I'm a guilty Catholic...what can I say. I have guilt about a bazillion things and sometimes it gets me down. Guilt is a heavy weight.

I have plenty of relatives that I never see and barely know. When I worked at Longways, I used to wait on some of them and the only difference between them and the strangers I waited on was the guilt I felt that I didn't know my own family! With Jenna, though, it feels different. I haven't seen her often, but I DO feel like I know her. Is it because we share many of the same family traits? The same blood? I don't know. I think Jenna reminds me alot of myself at her age. I know: that makes me sound ancient. But really, her and I are alot alike. Aside from the beautiful italian looks and flirty charm(wink), her humor reminds me of me. She is VERY funny. Her luck is awful...like mine, she is full of truth, like me, she hates when strangers call her pet names, which is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves! We both share a special affection for the Hail Mary. She is fresh and fun and free spirited. She says what she means and means what she says. She is a great writer. I can feel her moods in her words. She knows herself well and isn't afraid to show it! Like me :)

She posts almost daily to her blog and it's so great to read: Never a dull moment. Even her boring days are amiably described. I have read some blogs in my day, but none as funny and easy to digest. Who else writes about their puking experience in a puke colored font? Who else posts an interesting chat between friends? Who else lists their shower thoughts and confessions? Perhaps I'm biased in that she is my sister, but really, I love to read her entries because ya never know what will befall her and her "peeps."

Damn I feel old. I feel square. But that's o.k. because sometime in the hopefully near future, I am going to have a night on the town with my little sister and show her how cool I can still be: (after I buy a breast pump for the baby milk and find a designated driver and of course I'll have to make sure I drink plenty of water in between beers so I don't get a hangover, and I will most likely have to stretch before we go out so that I don't pull anything on the dance floor. And I should probably take some of my acid reflux medicine too in case I decide to have a Stoli cranberry with a lime twist; I don't want to get heartburn.) Yeah. Fo' shizzle... it should be fun!!

Well, sister, Know that I love ya and soon we shall meet!

The new bambino

Here's the new edition. He is very sweet, very strong, and very needy! We love him even though he drives his mommy crazy alot of the time. His name is Leo Arthur, after his father and great grandfather. What else can I say about him? He is perfect and cute and funny and warm and lovely. Sometimes there are no words, only colors.

Pregnancy: How Does it Feel?

Pro-Life

Cynthia went to D.C. today to walk in the Right to Life march. Our little activist! She made the sign herself of course, and I think it turned out quite nicely. She went with some people from her youth group. I love the youth group. It gives her something fun to do and keeps her connected a little closer to her faith than she was before. I must admit, I don't do NEARLY enough of the family praying thing. We go to church on Sundays and I do my private stuff, but it's nice to know that she has religion in her school and now in her free time through the youth group. Maybe for lent this year I will ADD something rather than take something away. I'll add more prayer time. Really, I am a horrible Catholic as they go! No, that's not just the guilt talking. It's so easy to get sucked into the drama of the world and to forget to really spend time praying and meditating on all the beautiful things in Christianity. But, I am trying to get better. Am I preaching? I don't mean to. I just feel that as I get older and the world just keeps getting shittier and I remember how good it feels to be in church and to listen to the sermans and to pray.....I mean, I can't recall prayer ever feeling BAD. So why don't I remember to do it more often? Because lately, when I do pray, it turns out to be a rather miraculous experience. Nothing earth shattering, but very peaceful and helpful to my mind and my survival.

So, I will try to be a better Catholic....for my sake. And for my peace of mind.

Hmm. I thought this was supposed to be about Cynthia's march! Well, perhaps when she gets home and tells me all about it I will post more.

All About Cynthia

Office Space

For those of you who were happily ignorant of my current employment situation, I am hereby informing you that I have obtained (merely out of desperation) a job at Stream. I'm assuming that you all are fortunate enough to NOT know what this means...this reference to this thing called "Stream." Would I were in your shoes to revel in such blissful ignorance! What, pray tell is Stream, you ask? It's a ...... CALL CENTER!!!! There!!! I said it!!!! To hold me over until I can find a job in which my degree will be useful, I shall be answering questions regarding Medicare for those confused old folks that call in. ES. (That means "Exasperating Sigh.") Can you say CUBICLE? Because in one week, I will be saying it. I don't know what's worse: the training that is more boring than a stale pretzel, or the fact that I will very shortly be peering at sticky note reminders of medicare information that I've stuck up on a gray upholstered cubicle "wall." Is this what I've reduced myself to? If I don't find a real job soon, I just may have some sort of nervous breakdown. Unless I've already had one, thus explaining how I allowed myself to get here in the first place. Stream employment: the major side effect of a nervous breakdown.

Well, my lunch break is coming to a swift close, so I must post this entry and sign off. I am in Stream's Cyberlounge, after all, and the next user of this computer can NOT be trusted.

Grey Poupon

Just a short aside....

According to my always well-informed Uncle Charlie, "70's mustard yellow" is actually called HARVEST GOLD! Leave it to those tree hugging hippies to come up with THAT name!!

Trailer: Trash or Treasure?

Recently my little family has succumbed to a cliché: we’ve rented a trailer. No, not a movie trailer, not a tractor trailer, not a horse trailer. Just a plain old house trailer. Well, I wouldn’t exactly say plain: If your home had vintage 1970’s style mustard yellow plastic doorknobs on brown panel doors, would YOU consider it plain? I didn’t think so.

We made the move purely for economic reasons. As previously noted in some other ramble of mine, our apartment in town had an insulation problem...namely that there was none. As one can imagine, in below zero weather it was no picnic. If you all have been keeping up with my ramblings, you should recall that due to the rent increase in this blustery shit hole we call our hometown, finding an affordable dwelling place was ALSO no picnic. Our trailer rent is a little higher than what we were paying, but with the amount of $ we’ll save in heating it, it worked out to our benefit. So here we sit. Goodbye village, hello country: goodbye street, hello road.

SO what is trailer life like, you ask? It’s not bad, actually. There’s the privacy factor, which is great. And we’re on this cute little plot of land that overlooks a hay field. We have a row of trees (of the fir category, perhaps?) and a stone fireplace to cook on. Damn. I almost forgot to mention one of THE most important elements of our new life. We have burning barrels. And we use them. I am totally anti-burn, mind you, but at the moment we have no other feasible choice. Our garbage man does not have service out here in the sticks, even though we’re less than a mile away from his business headquarters. Hmm. Well, that’s another blog.

Now that we’ve been here for a bit, I’m noticing all the glitches. Like, there is NO storage space. And we have a garage, but the door falls off the track just enough to make it too annoying to deal with. The wood stove in the garage, which was supposed to be a little country perk, seems to be clogged with...who knows....according to dad, perhaps some sort of animal nest? Poor Cynthia is cursed yet again with a closet sized bedroom, and last but certainly not least, BROWN PANELING. I have serious issues with that durable, old school, landlord favorite. It seems every place I end up in has at least one room infested with those tiresome “planks.” My solution? If you can’t beat it, paint over it!

I’m sure there are a million more things I could bitch about, but really, the benefits this time outweigh the complaints. Nothing is more appreciated than the warmth I now enjoy as opposed to the reoccurring frostbite in my pinky toe that I previously had to look forward to.

Yes, it IS a little strange to have a hitch on one end of our “house.” I suppose if we couldn’t come up with the rent one month and we wanted to be devious, we could literally drive away with everything INCLUDING the kitchen sink (which, by the way, is also mustard yellow).

But really, it’s not so bad. As to the question of whether it is trash or treasure, I haven’t exactly decided yet. Thus far all I know is that we burn our trash and due to the lack of storage, I may just have to bury my treasures!

To be continued.......

Long Time No Write

I feel so estranged from my blog! It's all my fault, of course. School started and the blog days of summer came to an end. Now school is over and I will appreciate any and all prayers on my behalf because I don't know if I passed.

Anyway, I SHALL become more intimate with my blog once again. I need the space to vent. Lord knows I have PLENTY to bitch about and what better place than here?

So stay tuned and when I figure out where to begin......then I'll begin.

Separation of Church and State: Our First Wedding

Here is Josh and Cynthia (our Best Man/Ring Bearer and our Maid of Honor/Photographer) in the car on the way to the courthouse.


Now we are on the way to the wedding, but backtracking because I forgot the marriage license. Oops!


Me and Cynthia at the convenient store waiting for Josh and Leo:


This is a very fuzzy picture of the rings we got at Kay's, courtesy of dad's Kay card. Thanks dad! Owe ya one.....or two.....or....well....let's just say we owe ya! hehehe


We were a little early, so decided to get some gas. Yes: Leo's wearing a "wife Beater." No: It's not indicative of his husbandly qualities!! Leo's whole family does this thing where if they're going to a place of importance, they wait to put their shirts on until they get there in order to avoid the "car wrinkles." It's very practical, I think. I mean, why iron if you're just going to wrinkle up again? Anyway, it's very funny being in the car with more than one of his fam, all in their undershirts!


Our vows included "sharing our worldly possessions," which we thought was rather silly since we HAVE NONE. Mom refers to herself as "bohemian peasant." I liked that so well that I've decided it's an inherited lifestyle trait from her to I!!!! Worldly possessions be gone!!!! I hope our church ceremony lacks that part of the vow. After all, wasn't Jesus like, THE bohemian peasant?!?
Bohemian Peasant Close-Up:

Exchanging the rings........yeah yeah, I know: worldly possessions! So I'm a little contradictory. Isn't everything in life?




The Kiss (flower courtesy of mom and Cynthia.) Side note: isn't Cynthia a good photographer?

One more time in black and white...
Well, really...how could I leave out the sepia?


Judge baker, his wife Sally, and the newlyweds...


I cropped us because, well damn it, we're cute!


One little happy family!


Our hands. Hmmm.


Stoppin' at Leo's mom's....Swedish charm!









After that, we went to the Fairgrounds to eat:

Are you wondering why my picture here is so much smaller than the singles of everyone else? Well, it was in a feeble attempt to minimize that extra ten pounds...you know, that the CAMERA adds on!



Product Promotion
Jingle: "Drink Corona with lime. It's good anytime!"


One of my FAVORITES:



Swinging by Grammas;


Cake from mom. Soooo......I got mad at Leo two days before the wedding, so I..um...ate a piece of the cake. Hmm...does someone eat their feelings? Then the next day, I had to go to work, so I ate another piece. Hey! I needed some sugar!!


Leo's brother Mike came over to have a beer. Here they are looking all tanned and ripped? Is that the word?


Boy oh boy! Just a little close-up for everyone! mmm mm mm. The cake was good, but this husband of mine sure looks yummy!!!


Until next time...and there WILL be a next time in which all are invited to eat, drink, and be merry,
The End

Gramps

The Wall

wal-mart. I hate wal-mart. It is trying to take over the world. It already runs some third world countries including Bangladesh and Honduras and soon will be taking over more of our lives via the mortgage business. Prepare yourselves folks, because soon you will be able to drop off your film and prescriptions while your oil is getting changed, as you shop for cheap burger meat and deodorant before you head up to the counter to get a money order for your electric bill and pay your monthly mortgage. And if you get side tracked in the electronics section and find that you don't have the time to go home to make dinner, you can just grab some Mcdonald's or Taco Bell or whatever other fast grease restaurant they have INSIDE their store. And if your contact falls out because your eye dries out from staring at all the deals, fear not: just swing around the cosmetics section to the eye doctor.

I've been bitching about wal-mart for so long now that I am drained of it. It is really common knowledge that they have very shady business tactics and are responsible for forcing tons of american businesses to either move overseas or go under. Annmarie took an English class last year and had to write a paper on wal-mart. Her professor provided her with a website with a really informative pulitzer prize winning series of articles on wal-mart. Here's the link:

http://www.pulitzer.org/year/2004/national-reporting/works/

On top of all the other things wal-mart does that piss me off, here are a few from my own personal experiences rather than from the wealth of articles, news stories, etc. Maybe they're silly. I have been told I am often too analytical. But really, I can't help it. When I don't trust something or someone, I become suspicious. I begin to analyze, to inquire in my mind until I reach a satisfactory answer. It's the overactive part of my human condition. Anyway, here we go:

1. Why are the aisles in wal-mart so discombobulated? The usual mission of department stores is to elicit convienence. You know, the "everything under one roof" phillosophy. Like when I used to go to Ames, for instance, and they had a specific corner for seasonal items that would CHANGE with the seasons: if I was in a last minute rush for halloween candy, I would run through the doors, turn left, jog down a straight-a-way and boom: I was surrounded by candy, face paint, hair glitter and orange porch lights. (For those that don't know, Ames was a popular department store chain that had been around forever until wal-mart spread like the black plague.) When I go to K-mart for socks, I can see the well situated signs posted on the walls or suspended from the ceiling and I know right where to go. Perhaps wal-mart has these signs but I never noticed them. The only signs I can clearly remember seeing are the big yellow "slashing prices" smiley face signs. Maybe their directional cues are hidden behind the maze-like aisles that reach almost to the ceiling. Forget trying to find anything in an efficient manner and definitely forget trying to find all the holiday items in one place. If they're not scattered throughout the aisles, they are floating haphazardly throughout the store on little islands of their own. Convience? No: one must embark on a treasure hunt for the fairy wings, fake blood, candy corn, and the "scary sounds" cd, and just hope it doesn't take over an hour. My logical conclusion to this madness? They WANT you to spend hours at a time in their store. They figure while you're wading through masses of cheap shoes, generic Tide, and slave wage made clothes to find the faux spider webs, you might be tempted to grab the air freshener, fruit roll ups and 50 cent tank top that caught your eye. Their scheme is working. People love wal-mart becuase their prices are SO cheap, and their subconscious mind has picked up on the inconvience factor, so they consciously work around it by making wal-mart a day! Once a month or so, they go to wal-mart to browse and shop, maybe eat, maybe throw on a lay-away. It's smart, really. What a great way to make more money to negate the dirt cheap prices: people go in for the 99 cent 80 pack of Charmin and come out having spent a hundred and fifty bucks.

2. What the hell is up with the senior citizen greeters always killing you with kindness at the door? And the farewellers bidding you adieu at the other door? wal-mart's (I can't even bring myself to capitalize them at the start of a sentance!) tidy response to this is that they are taking the plight of the lower class seniors to heart: in a supreme act of generosity, they have created a wealth of jobs for the struggling elderly, so that they don't have to eat cat food anymore. And if they still must because their pay sucks, at least they have the store discount so they can get 10% off the 19 cent can of nine lives. My logical conclusion to all this generosity? They hire people to "man the doors," to "be on the lookout" in an effort to minimize shoplifting. I betcha during training there is a nice long lecture from some expert on "noticing the signs" and what to do if you suspect that someone is smuggling a twenty dollar VCR out in their baby stroller. Yet another smooth move on wal-mart's part: "Secret shoppers? Who needs 'em? That will just make the shoppers untrusting and resentful. We want them to love us, to love the wal-mart esperience. So let's put an old man with a big blue and yellow smiley face apron in front of the door to hand out carts. And when they think, 'I could've gotten my own cart...it's right there,' it will be immediately followed by, 'oh, but it's so nice that that old man found a job.'" And I'm sure there is someone up in a cushy office somewhere doing the numbers and figuring that the amount of money they save in stolen merchandise cancels out the pittance that they pay the seniors.

3. Why do all the wal-mart flyers feature their employees and families posing as models? Is it really because they value those employees and they believe in a work environment centered around fellowship and loving teamwork? PAHLEASE. Can you imagine how much money they're saving in not paying real models?!? Pretty slick, right? Make their extremely underpaid employees feel like superstars, save butt-loads of cash, and take advantage of some great word of mouth advertising as the employees and families tell everyone they know that they were in the wal-mart flyer, or that their sister was, or that the Down's Syndrome daughter of a friend's cousin's ex-husband was, and everybody's wonderful image about wal-mart the great just keeps getting greater!

It's all one big conspiracy. For a company to feign such generosity and high morals while they bully starving chinese women to sew more and more buttons faster and faster for less and less, is nothing more than evil. They take away american jobs and are glad to do it so that all those people that lost their jobs to overseas factories will be FORCED to shop at wal-mart because their prices are all that unemployment and welfare checks will allow. It works out great for wal-mart. The poorer and more desperate we are, the more money they will make. wal-mart, otherwise known as Hell-mart (with a capital "H") makes me sick. They shall hereafter be refered to as "banging your head against a wall-mart."

Chemical Salad

I know......the picture is impossible to read. So let me break it down. In cigarettes, there are over 4,000 chemicals. Some of the more recognizable ones are:

Butane (lighter fluid)
Cadmium (batteries)
Stearic acid (candle wax)
Hexamine (barbeque lighter)
Toluene (industrial solvent)
Nicotine (insecticide)
Ammonia (toilet cleaner)
Paint
Fuel
Methanol (rocket fuel!!)
Carbon Monoxide
Arsenic
Methane (sewer gas)
Acetic acid (vinegar)

Hmmmm.........Nicotine (insecticide)..........Am I addicted to bug spray? Am I EXTERMINATING myself?!?
I see olive oil and garlic salt aren't listed as ingredients, otherwise I could probably deal with the vinegar, but who tosses their salad with BUTANE & vinegar and a sprinkle or two of arsenic? Not me. Apparently I save that for my lungs. As for the candle wax, I prefer the delicate flicker of the flame on the table as I'm eating. Gnawing on the candle as I await my meal has never occured to me. And the thought doesn't appeal to me now. And I know I'm not the best at sparking up the barbeque, but it would never make me so depressed that I would just grab the barbeque lighter and inhale it. Wait. I AM inhaling the barbeque lighter. Twenty times a day.....more if I add alcohol. Sigh. I guess I AM depressed.

Anyone who knows me, knows that the two chores I hate doing the most are cleaning the toilet and cleaning the car. So I guess my motto is "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." And in goes the sewer gas, toilet cleaner and fuel! Am I making anyone else besides me sick yet?

The pamplet that the state sent me with this lovely information on it, included a quote from a scientist. It said, "noone has ever gotten addicted to cigarettes by smoking tobacco." It's all these other ingredients. Reading this chemical list reminds me of the article I browsed the other day about meth labs. I think crystal meth even had some of the same ingredients. And that's just disgusting. I could go on a whole big rant about the tobacco companies and how they have created all of us drug addicts and how they are still in business because they have bought themselves a chunk of the government, but we've all heard that before.

I've tried to quit smoking a million times and next week I will try again. This time I will refer to my attempt as a boycott: if I can boycott wal-mart (they don't deserve to be capitalized) then I damn sure need to put as much effort into boycotting phillip-morris (again, lower case letters for lower life bastards).

Fellow boycotters! Unite! go here:

www.nysmokefree.com

It's a pretty groovy site...if groovy is the right word for a site full of interesting scare tactics! Scary, yes. But encouraging too.